It'll Be Okay
by filafruit
Summary: (Natsuki's POV) This FanFiction takes place after Sayori committed suicide. The literature club immediately departs. This affects Natsuki the most. But, she receives closure from a fellow ex-club member...
1. The News

**_Natsuki POV_**

Sayori allegedly committed suicide yesterday. That's what I've been hearing, at least, but I think it's just an extreme excuse Sayori used to not go to school today. As shitty as it sounds, that is definitely something she would do. Either way, I was startled to hear that...why would anyone start a rumor like that anyway ? Not only is that really weird, but it's also very disrespectful. If I hear someone else bring this up, I _will_ scold them ! Not out of annoyance, but out of denial...I'd rather not believe Sayori is dead.

Both MC and Sayori were absent today which I found really strange actually...it could have been a prank, right ? Some kind of sick prank. I swear, if I saw MC and Sayori tomorrow, I am going to beat their asses for tricking me like that. Maybe they'd show up later. Would they really..?

I look up at the class clock. It's only 9 AM. They have six hours to prove me wrong. What if they actually don't show up ? _They'll show up tomorrow. I know they will,_ I convinced myself. _Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. _My hands begin to shake. Then, _I _began shaking.

The bell rang. Class dismissed.

It's 11 AM.

It's lunch.

It's 1 PM.

It's 3 PM. The school day is over and neither of them had shown up. I begin getting more and more concerned by the second. Suddenly, I see Monika walking and talking with Yuri. Seeing them made me feel less tense.

"Hey ! Guys !" I call, waving my arm and going towards their direction. Monika and Yuri turn to me, abruptly stopping their conversation about whatever. Ugh, why aren't they mentioning Sayori or MC ? I guess I'll bring it up.

"So um...I heard that Sayori-"

"She did. I was the one who told everyone," Monika interrupted, without a single trace of sadness or empathy in her tone. I was _baffled. _Yuri looks down, her bangs covering her face, then breaks into silent tears. God, as much as I fuckin' hate Yuri with all my guts, I genuinely feel bad for her. She'd never looked so sad, it's almost making _me _feel sad. My throat swells up, but I stop myself from crying. Judging by Monika's face, she's completely unfazed by this which enrages me.

"Wait, how do _you_ know ? Is this just another rumor you started ? Because if it is, cut the shit Monika ! Talk to us, please !" I shriek.

Monika looks up at the sky, thinking of what to say. She turns back to me, opens her mouth but then stops herself. Is she hiding something ? She knows something. I _know_ she knows something. I stop walking because the tears are blocking my view. Monika and Yuri stop walking, too. We stand there. Like a bunch of idiots. Monika sighs and kneels down to my height.

"Natsuki, you're going to be _fine._ MC just didn't come today because he was...well, I guess very affected by this. He obviously really liked Sayori. But I personally think this is a very important lesson for him to learn, you know ? I think he needs to let go and move on-"

"Well, you know what I think ? I think you're full of shit ! Seriously, what the _FUCK_ is wrong with you Monika ? You can't just tell me that Sayori killed herself and then follow that by telling me to move on. WHY DON'T YOU CARE ?" I yell back at Monika's stupid face. Yuri's face is streaming with tears and she's covering her mouth out of shock while her other hand trembles. Monika makes direct eye contact with me that shakes me to my core.

"Because I know how to move on." She says before standing up and heading to the club room. She looks at Yuri and signaled her to come in, but she refused.

"I...I don't want to be apart of this club anymore," Yuri stated, crossing her arms.


	2. Can't Go Home

"What," Monika squinted at Yuri in disbelief, "the _hell_ do you mean you don't _want _to be apart of this club anymore ?" Yuri tilted her chin up slightly to make herself look...more intimidating, I guess ? Fuck. I know this isn't a good time to think about this but...she looks...really attractive right now...what the fuck !

"As in, I don't want to attend the literature club anymore. This place...it...it carries a special history with Sayori. Now that she isn't here with us anymore, I believe it is disrespectful to continue showing up without her presence," Yuri said. Wow. Well spoken. The moment I was going to verbally agree, Monika scoffed and took a step toward Yuri. I had a gut feeling something bad was going to happen.

"Yuri, you're being ridiculous. You tell her, Natsuki, she'll listen to you. Isn't she being unbelievable right now ?" Monika sneered with a big grin on her face. Why did she feel the need to put me on the spot like that, god damnit ! I mean, I can't agree with Monika. I propped myself up as Yuri did.

"No."

"No what ?"

"No, she's not being ridiculous. If anyone, _you_ are being ridiculous," I pointed my finger at her, so close it almost poked her eye. Monika wasn't having it. Suddenly, she grabbed my index finger and threw it out of her face with force.

"Ow, what the hell !" I shriek, holding my finger. Monika shoved me out of the way by the head and stomped over to Yuri's ear. She said something, but I couldn't hear it. As soon as she finished saying whatever to Yuri, Yuri frowned at her in confusion. She then shook her head, grabbed her left arm with her right and looked down shyly. I wanted to smack the smug out of Monika's face.

"Well, since both of you want to be a pair of idiots, then fine. Stop showing up. Natsuki, you can take your little _mangas_ out of the supply closet anytime you want. I'll just recruit and find better people to work with. And if not even _that _works," Monika side eyed Yuri, "then I'll blame the fall of the literature club on you, Yuri"

I felt really bad for Yuri. She looked as if she were about to break down into tears again...I just wanted to hug her really tight. That poor girl.

Since there was nothing to be said now, I assumed it would be a good time for me to start leaving and headed home. SHIT. Headed _home !? _At this time, my father would have assumed I stayed for the club like I do all the time. If I go home early..._he will beat me up._

Fuck, what am I supposed to do now ? Roam school campus for hours because I refuse to be with a heartless moron for hours !? I see Yuri is leaving as well. Maybe if I walk her home I can kill some time. I jog toward the exit of the hallway and catch up to her.

"Uhm, Yuri...can I like-like, walk with you or something ? I-It's fine if not. I'm just asking-"

"Ok. Come on," Yuri responded almost immediately. I tightened my lips and nodded, trying not to blush. How embarrassing !

We show up to her house. I'd say we just killed a good 20 minutes. She looked down at me and I look back at her. I really didn't want to go home yet. I was dying to tell her about my...father.

"Well...goodbye. Thank you for walking with me, Natsuki," Yuri said, opening the gate to her house. No !

"Yuri, wait ! I need to tell you something-" I grabbed her arm.


	3. Opening Up

I went off. I told her everything. The abuse, the bruises...

At some point it didn't even feel like it was me talking. My bottled-up pain took over and erupted into an emotional mess. The whole time I'd been having a breakdown, bawling my eyes out, it felt like time itself had stopped. This very moment, matter itself didn't exist. Nothing was real. Not anymore.

Yuri sooner or later began hugging me, but my melancholic blindness prevented me from realizing until now. Naturally, I hugged her back. I stopped both sobbing and rambling about my home life. Caught in her warm clutch, I felt the safest I've ever been. I almost felt like crying again. You see the problem here ? I'm pathetic !

"Hey," Yuri finally said, breaking the silence, "you know...I've been hurting too. I-I can't show you now, but maybe...you could-or should-definitely stay over. We can vent or rant all we want. Just the two of us. I could prepare some chamomile tea too if you consider staying."

God, I fuckin' love Yuri. Hearing her admit she hurts too makes me feel as if I'm not alone, but it hurts me even more. What could her reason be ? She's perfect. Putting these thoughts aside, I hug her tightly. This time I assume she wasn't prepared for it.

"Thank you, Yuri" I say, trying to hold back the tears from rolling again. But it's impossible. My throat tightens then I burst into tears, digging my face into Yuri's shoulder. I could feel her gentle palms patting my head softly. I wish this embrace could last forever. But it doesn't.

_My dad. MY DAD ! _Shit, I'm supposed to be home right now ! I tensed up and I 100% guarantee Yuri noticed.

"I-is something wrong ?" Yuri alarmingly departed from the hug and held her hands. "Sorry if I-"

"No, no, it's not your fault !" I anxiously reassured. Crap, did I make her think it was her fault ? "I just lost track of time...I really need to be headed home. Can please we talk again tomorrow ?"

O my. I said _please_. Good job, Natsuki, you sound desperate.

"Ah-sure, yes. See you tomorrow, Natsuki," Yuri delivered a warm smile. I waved goodbye and started speed walking.


	4. Not Okay Yet

Everytime I'm about to enter my house, I feel the urgent need to be silent. I opened the door cautiously to not make a sound. The moment I laid foot into my home, I peeped around the living room. My dad is passed out and drunk on the couch. I sigh in complete relief. But this also means that I'll have to be extra careful to not wake him up. If I cause a single disruption to this man, he becomes so enraged, his fury just takes over. Why should I have to do this ? He's disgusting. I hate him so much.

I mindfully continue my way past the living room and head towards the stairs. This...this is going to be a pain in the ass. We don't live in the best quality home right now...ever since my father and my mother had gotten divorced, and my father for some reason had gotten full custody over me, we've gotten evicted four times. Our ever-changing homes since then have never been in good condition. That being said…

The issue with these stairs ? _They're. creaky. as. hell. _

I take a deep breath and begin to pray for my fuckin' _life. _My backpack wrapped tight in my arms, I hold my breath until my lungs can't hold, taking each step slowly like my life depends on it. Which it does. If I keep doing this, I'll safely make it up the stairs...without getting...beaten.

However, since the universe is against me, I can't make it up to my room quietly. Why ? Take a guess.

_**CREEEEAK !**_

The loudest, most nerve-wracking blare was released by the last step on the staircase. That sound shook me to my core. Apparently, so as to my dad. I turned around to see him wiping the drool off his face, then catching me giving him a fearful glance. I clench my teeth and flinch. I imagine all the terrible things that could happen next.

"You fucking brat ! When did you get here ? How long have you been here ? Stupid bitch. You could have said something instead of scaring me like that, you fucking asshole," he gets up but trips, without a doubt due to him being hungover. I freeze while he fixes himself up and heads towards me, gradually picking up his pace. If I don't get to my room quick, I'm gonna get it.

I turn around and sprint in the direction of my room. I could hear my dad's booming footsteps behind me. Shutting the door and locking it, I dropped my backpack beside me and let myself fall to my knees. I am so thankful for the lock on my door, it's the one good thing this burden of a home has to offer. My dad is banging on the door. It gives me the heaviest chills.

"OPEN UP, NATSUKI, YOU STUPID BRAT," he roars at the top of his lungs. I remain silent and inhale to my lung's limit, maybe even surpassing that.

"If you don't open this fucking door right now, you will regret _breathing._ I will make you regret _EXISTING," _his threats shot through my mind like bullets. I should be terrified. I really should. In fact, I actually am. This just happens way too frequently and I don't know how to feel about it.

All I need to do now is fake being asleep and hope I eventually just fall asleep. Night falls quicker than you think when you're feeling regretful. Letting out a long, distressed sigh, I get up on my feet again and trudge over to my blanket-bombarded bed. I feel worn out. It's been a long day. I plop onto the wooly mess face first. Still fully clothed, I drift to sleep.

Hours go by.

I open my eyes sedately. It seems to still be dark out. I feel like I have all the time in the world. I turn my head to look out the window. The curtains sway to the breeze of the fresh night. The moon greets me with its rays of comfort. The gleaming, bright stars shine endlessly, full of life. The sight fills me with misery. I was once like these stars. My eyes begin to flow with tears.

My face was swamped in tears, yet that doesn't stop me from drifting back to sleep once more.


	5. Anticipation

New day, new me. Just kidding. It's not that easy. It could never be that easy. I wish, though. Fuck, life would be so much more simple if I just woke up in a new body every day. Maybe I'd be free of a shitty life. Maybe I'd one day be trapped in the body of a dead person. What would that be like ? Eh, whatever. It's more preferable compared to dealing with this shitshow. My drunken father passed out in the doorway outside my room, and it was unduly difficult having to push him out of the way with the door. At least I got to eat breakfast this morning.

It's Friday, I think. I don't really know. It feels like weeks have passed since the literature club broke up. Weeks since Sayori committed suicide. All I know right now is that I have to get through this day and meet with Yuri after school. Oh, I can't wait to hang out with Yuri.

MC wasn't here today either. We have the same math and science class. He regularly skips math anyway, so it didn't feel much different. I knew for sure he was absent when science came around. I almost didn't even care, though. My mind was set on after school. After school when I got to see Yuri again. I don't get to witness Yuri's angelic presence around campus because we don't share any classes.

I skimmed through the whole school day. Every class today, though, I've been absent minded. Brain-dead. I'm just sitting there. I didn't do any of the work, either. But I didn't care. My mind was set on after school.

It's 12 PM.

It's 2 PM.

It's 3 PM.

Fuckin' _finally._ Thought this day would never end. There's the final bell. I throw on my backpack swiftly, but not quick enough. Everyone has already crammed by the door to leave, and I remained standing a couple of steps behind the mess. Are you shitting me ? I just want to see Yuri…

I was gravely disappointed I didn't get to see Yuri immediately after school. It's fine, at least I get to walk on the same route as Sayori-

Oh wait.

She's dead.

Fuck…

Walking alone wasn't a pleasant feeling. I felt scared. Like I was in danger. Yuri made me feel secure, though. But it's fine, I'll see her soon. Christ, I sound like a creep. I hope I don't ruin my chances with Yuri.

After what seemed to be hours of dreadful walking and the endless resonance of my footsteps, something from afar caught my eye. It was Yuri, I know it was Yuri. Her elegant purple hair swayed gently as she walked. My heart immediately began racing. I can walk with her home ! I've felt so deprived from Yuri all day, I can't wait to finally talk to her. I sped up my pace.

"Yuri !"

Ah yes, I really am desperate.


	6. It's Okay

Yuri came to a complete stop and turned around. She looked nervous. Maybe she was blushing ? God, I wish.

"Natsuki !"

"Hey."

I trotted next to her and we started walking again at the same time. Wow, I don't feel scared anymore. It's insane what Yuri does to me. Every here and there, I couldn't help but look up at her. I hope I'm not overthinking it, but I'm 99.99% sure that Yuri had been blushing. She looks so goddamn cute when she's blushing. I could literally just swoop up there and kiss her-

"Oh, uhm...my house is less than a block away." Yuri mentioned. "We're gonna hang out, right ?"

"Yep !" I chirped. Before I knew it, we were standing outside the walkway to her house. I noted that her house layout was awfully similar to mine. Oh god. I get the same anxious feeling I feel when I'm about to open the door to my house; it's like I'm putting my life on the line. Judging by my uneasy expression, Yuri caught on that something wasn't right.

"Did something happen at home?" Yuri's voice was full of concern. I almost started crying. _Almost. _Well, I couldn't lie to her. I nodded. Yuri looked down as if she were thinking. Shortly after, she swooped down and picked me up. I was _fuckin'_ flabberghasted. She probably knew that, too, but she patiently walked over to the door and practically kicked it open. It was so out-of-character for her, but I kind of enjoyed it. But I was so confused nonetheless; as in, seriously, what the fuck ? I wanted to ask her about it, but making her feel bad and making the situation even more awkward was the last thing I'd want to do.

We made it to her room where she finally set me down. She had bookshelves upon bookshelves of books, some of them squeezing between gaps for dear life. Yuri is my bookworm_. _Er, Yuri is _a_ bookworm. What am I even thinking ? Whatever. I took a seat on her bed. I admittedly struggled climbing on it, I sincerely hope she didn't see that.

"Hey uhm, do you like chamomile, lavender or herbal ?" Yuri was plugging something into a charger outlet. What was she talking about ?

"Uhh…" I said hesitantly. Yuri shortly added in, "Oh, right ! I'm sorry about that, I should have specified. I-I was talking about...tea. Did you want some…?"

_OH, _ SHE WAS SETTING UP HER ELECTRIC KETTLE_. _I'm such an idiot ! _Obviously_ she was talking about tea. God, if I'm not the biggest dumbass, I don't know who is.

"Ah, right then. I would like some, actually ! Lavender, please ! Hehe..." I giggled nervously, tugging my arm. I feel so embarrassed. The sound of the increasingly bubbling water put me at ease. Yuri plopped down next to me but kept her eye on the kettle.

"Good choice. My favorite is lavender, too," she smiled warmly. I don't know why she's so cute, but she is. It's like I'm starting to think the same thoughts the last time I saw her. The last time I saw her, she looked just as beautiful. The last time I saw her, we talked about hanging out...then I remembered the reason why we're here. Why _I'm_ here. We're gonna talk some _serious_ talk. I could already feel the grim aura falling upon me. It's hard reliving awful memories, and even harder when you have to share them. For some reason, though, the simple fact that I'm with Yuri aids me.

"Tea's ready," She announced. I watched her pour ourselves the tea. I wasn't a huge fan of the aroma, but if it's coming from Yuri, I don't even mind. She handed me my cup and she sat on the center of the bed so elegantly. We both sipped our tea in sync.

"Shit !" Yuri yelped; she'd spilled her tea on her shirt and on her sleeves. I winced so harshly, the tea was painfully hot. Yuri rolled up the sleeves of her caramel sweater, revealing rows upon rows of her scars. The levels of shock I reached by laying eyes on her arms are indescribable. I looked at her in the eyes and could see my vision become blurry with tears before she looked back at her arms.

"Is this how you've been hurting…?" I wept. A long, sharp silence fell.

"It...it's all recent...I've never done this before," Yuri responded.

"But why?"

Another silence.

.

.

.

"M-Monika told me to...It was when I decided I would stop going to the l-literature club...I don't know why, but it felt like couldn't control it once I started," Yuri cried. _Oh, Monika._ _**THAT BITCH.**_ What the hell is her problem, anyway !? Just because we decided we would stop going to her stupid club. Look at how she fucked up my Yuri. I set my teacup down and reached over to hug her. Seeing her this way filled me with sorrow, and thinking about how Monika led her to this made me sick to my stomach.

"Please, Yuri," I begged, "promise me you won't ever do this to yourself again…" Yuri rested her chin on my head and calmed down.

"...Natsuki, you stay here with me?" she asked silently. I froze. My heartbeat skyrocketed.

"Stay here with you?" I released myself from the embrace of the hug but rested my arms on her shoulders. "Oh, I'd love to ! But…"

Yuri looked at me expectantly, and I looked back.

"My dad would murder me if I did," I broke into a teary mess again. Now it was Yuri's turn to comfort me. I kind of felt bad for that. She swiftly slides my arms to her arms and holds my hands tight.

"Forget about your dad. Natsuki, I truly care about you, and-well…" There was a brief pause. "I love you."

I immediately stopped crying. Yuri continued.

"I can't let you go back there...you don't deserve to be mistreated and abused. I want to look after you here where I know you're safe. Let him rage by his sorrowful self. Please, Natsuki. Will you stay here with me ?"

I'm staying. I'm staying. I'm staying, I'm fucking staying. I can't believe I'm being given such a great opportunity, I never thought this day would come. I couldn't get any words out. I was overwhelmed. By pure impulse, I sprang at Yuri and kissed her on the lips. I could feel her warm chest prest against mine, her soothing hand caressing my face. I'm home.

She took a second to breath and cupped my face with her hands. "Is that a yes?" She giggled softly. I blinked away my tears and nodded joyfully. "Yes, one hundred times yes !"

We made out again.

We finished our tea and chatted. We laughed and stopped to gaze at each other in the eyes and then began laughing again. This is the security that I've longed to feel my entire life, but I haven't realized it up until now. Yuri is my safe space. Yuri's my...wait…

"Hey, Yuri ?"

"Yeah ?"

"Will you be my girlfriend ?"

She let out a cute little laugh and pinched my cheek.

"I thought we've already established that~"

Yuri is my girlfriend. Time begins to pass again. Matter itself is reborn. Everything is real. This time, for sure.


End file.
